The Nail Biopsy

(Forgot to add this in the original post, but this is the best picture) ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!


Last Friday, I had an appointment for a nail biopsy. Why? Because last semester, as I was reading my textbook, I came across a picture of a longitudinal pigmentation on a nail that was a sign of melanoma. I stared down at my finger and realized it was almost identical to the same mysterious pigmentation that arose on my finger for the last few months. I didn't want to be a hypochondriac about it, but after multiple referrals by my teacher and Nurse Practitioners, I saw two dermatologists that thought I should get a nail biopsy to test for melanoma, especially since my Mom had it and I'm very white.

I have been very nervous about this appointment, but naturally I made light of the situation and was laughing all the way up until the procedure...and during the procedure. But here is me on the way to the procedure. My best friend Ashley was there with me every second of the day, and even slept at my house that night to make sure I was okay. She is AWESOME.
*If you continue to scroll down there is ONE gory picture but it's before they actually did a ton more slicing and really, I am the one who had to go through it, so you can deal with looking at a picture*

FREAKING OUT...

This is me kicking my legs up and down while waiting for the doc. When I am stressed, I respond in two ways: Cry or laugh hysterically/inappropriately. I opted for laughing on this day, and Ashley and I made jokes the whole way through.

Looking at my little pinky for the last time...

Streak is on the left side...but it's not as noticeable here because I cut the nail really short.

Sterile procedure tray. BOOOOOOOOO.

The process: They gave me two shots of lidocaine (local numbing) and epinephrine. I knew that the epinephrine had traveled centrally when my teeth started chattering and I could stop moving. All I wanted to do was get up and run. This extra bit of energy did not help my uncontrollable laughing. In the picture below, they cut down my nail bed and cut back my cuticle a bit. They send the nail down to pathology along with some scrapings from my nail bed.

The thing that really peeved me before this process was that the Dermatologist said he was underwhelmed by the looks of the nail and said there was less than 1% chance I had melanoma. He kept saying he's almost completely positive it wasn't melanoma. "Okay...then let me go. I don't want this." Dr. replies, "Oh no, we should do it though. It's just probably not." Okay not helping mister. If I'm going through this, I partly want it to be worth it so it wasn't all for nothing. The Dr said the pigmentation is most likely due to a mole beneath the skin and it manifests itself on the nail. Weird.

They wrapped it up good! Oh and they also prescribed me 20 Lortab. Haha. They kind of looked at me funny when I told them I had never taken it before. I guess they expect that everyone has had it by my age. Twenty definitely seemed plenty, but I suppose instead of getting stickers after a doctor's appointment when you are young, they hand out Lortab. Interesting.

Can you guess what my pain level is?? I don't know why they have this stupid pain level poster everywhere, but I always see the pain levels with corresponding facial expressions everywhere in the hospital. If you really want to know, I am trying to be level 8.

After all is said and done, I understand that it is best that I do this just in case it is cancer. It was such a weird experience though. I was laughing so hard during the procedure because it was such an out of body experience. It's like you are in a bad dream that you can't wake up from. I couldn't feel the end of my finger, but I could feel the pressure in my joint and hear what they were doing. The CNA could tell I was pretty anxious so she offered to turn on some music via Pandora. "What kind of music do you want to listen to?" My response: "Straight up gangsta rap yo!" They thought I was serious.
After they wrapped me up and I was on my way with my narcotics, Ashley and I went to get giant milkshakes and watched funny movies the rest of the night. I took some of my pain meds as the numbing was wearing off and went to bed. Ashley slept on my couch.
WELL...5 AM hits and it feels like someone is cutting into my finger. I grab the pain meds and realize I need to eat something before I take it. I have a banana, take a Lortab, and start eating some cheese. Not even one minute goes by, and a feeling of impending doom overwhelms me. Everything goes blurry, I start sweating profusely, and all the blood rushes out of my face. I stare at the reflection in the mirror and it is similar to those of ghosts in scary movies. I hit the ground shaking and grab my phone to call Ashley. "Get the drug manual!" I start throwing up. Oh my gosh...am I dying?? Ashley assures me that it will be okay and actually stays in the room holding my hair. "ASHLEY!!! You can leave...just make sure I don't die." After 10-15 minutes that felt like forever, I feel fine and loopy. Eventually I start dozing off to 30 Rock in the background and hear the front door close. Crap. I remember that Ashley had work at 6 AM. I stole her precious sleep from her, but she wasn't worried. Ashley is the most amazing friend, and sometime, I will have to dedicate a post to her because she is one of the coolest, most unique person I have met. Yay for nursing school for bringing us together!

Oh and results don't come back for another week or something, so no news yet.