I've had a lot of thoughts in the last 2 months, but I didn't really ever feel like typing. But now I do, so hold on.
I still feel like I'm a little kid in a big kid world. That's a great thing, bad thing, and a shocking thing. It is great because I like feeling like I am self-sustainable (as of right now) and my parents have kind of set me up for success. I hate that phrase, "Set you up for success." That is what my boss always tells us that he wants to do for us, but whatever. And it is great because when I'm done with work, I'm done! No homework, yay!
It is a bad and shocking thing because I'm learning some harsh realities as well. My pay raise with becoming a registered nurse no longer seems enough. It's enough for now, but how is this kind of pay supposed to support a family? Pay for 2+ kids, a house, food, utilities, trips, etc?? HOW do everyday Americans do this? Granted, I am saving a lot, but it just seems like people who have to provide all this wouldn't be able to save up anything, let alone break even!
Another harsh reality is marital "bliss". My co-workers make me sad when it comes to this. The way they talk about their significant others is embarassing. I hear about some co-worker's husband being a hoarder, another one who fights with their teenage daughter about the most pointless things, and another handful that rack up credit card bills to $60,000. Example: Did you know that if you buy a car, take back the next day, buy another, take it back the next day, and then buy another car that you end up with a $60,000 Nissan? How, you ask? I guess each 'take back' is considered a trade in.
My point being, it seems like no one is really happy. At least not the 'happy' that I am now and what I hope to have. I had to ask myself if perhaps my family has just been putting on a really convincing facade of utmost happiness, but I decided that they aren't that clever (ha!) and that *hopefully* we were raised with a different kind of thinking. Ashley and I decided to survey some people about marriages. One very jovial co-worker was asked, "Do you like being married?" "No." "No?? But you love your husband as a person though right?" "Eh, I don't know." "Well like you would be sad if he died today, right?" "Um.....Not really." WHAT?? Okay....
Debt. I also realized that everyone is in debt. We're not talking about mortgages. We're talking $100,000 in school loans, plus $60,000 in credit card debt, and repo men. When I was apart of this group of people socializing about their debts, my stomach sunk. Is this going to be me? Is it normal to go to bed with thousands of dollars you have to pay off? No wonder the banks collapsed.
It is sad, but I think that this is the first time in my life that reality has sunk in and I realize nothing is guaranteed. You aren't guaranteed happiness. You aren't guaranteed money. You aren't guaranteed kids, a house, great friends, or health.
Have I depressed you yet? Fabulous. Although that wasn't my intent, but felt compelled to share these discoveries.
5 comments:
First of all, your co-workers are depressing. Yeah, living and raising kids is expensive, but having a trustworthy and respectful and loving spouse makes that bearable. We've had some interesting financial hurdles, but there's a mutual respect which extends to living within our means - I have no desire to rack up debt because I respect how he provides for our family and for what we're doing as a team.
Second, not everyone has debt. It's actually quite possible to live within your means. You don't get shopping trips or eating out or vacations or the latest technology, but you also sleep really well at night.
Lastly, there are a lot of unhappy people out there. You are not one of them. Set yourself up for success and that's where you'll end up.
I think Sarah covered it pretty well, but I'll just add this: remember how you've had a string of awful roommates/living situations? But you don't think all people are like that, right? Yes, things aren't always easy, but it is definitely possible to live a happy life by making good choices about what you do and who you surround yourself with. Just be concerned with the way you live your own life and you'll be fine.
I should probably point out that it's not like I am depressed about this, I just think it's rather interesting and amusing. But thanks for the advice. =)
Be happy: Halloween candy is now discounted! (And soon there will be an abundance of peppermint bark!)
I'm sort of impressed that you're even observing and thinking about this kind of stuff. I don't think I did when I was your age. (I do now, though. Although lots of people make crummy decisions, plenty of others are pretty smart about their lives.) One piece of advice - take advantage of the IRA (or Roth IRA, even better) tax deduction every year starting now if at all possible. In 30 years (comes very quickly) you'll be thrilled with yourself.
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