From End of the School Year Madness to Absolutely Nothing

Do you want to know what it is like being unemployed? The correct answer: No, you do not.

It's not so much that not working is making me anxious, it's more the fighting with myself that goes on in my head. It's like "Well, Becca, you still don't have a job (a consistent one at least) so what are you going to do with yourself? Watch TV? What a loser? Read a book or watch a movie? No...because you can't enjoy it because you feel so anxious about not being accomplished!" And the argument ensues for what I can only imagine is a long time until I find myself staring off into space. So at this point in time, I've applied for...I don't know...like a million jobs and with this recession it is not looking good. It is taking forever for my CNA license to get converted to a California license, so hopefully it will happen soon and I can resume work where I am most comfortable- a hospital.

In the meantime, I'll briefly explain what has gone on in the last month. Firstly, I actually passed my finals. I was expecting a 3.0 this semester because it was just insane how much they were asking and how hard everything got, but in the end, I managed a 3.5. Not as good as last semester, but holy cow, I did way better than most. As a celebration to the end of this hard but successful year, me and 20 other nursing students went on a Carnival cruise to Catalina Island and a brief view of Ensenada. It was only a view because of the whole swine flu thing, and it was brief because some idiotic man (he was like 30 or 40) got really drunk and slipped on the side of the pool and like cracked his head or something. The Coast Guard had to come take him to the hospital, and we were forced to leave international waters. So for the remainder of our 'sea days' we viewed LA. I'll go into more detail on the cruise later.

In short, here is an unorganized look at what we did leading up to the boat...

Morning of our descent

On Moving Day, we decided to flip the LoveSac off of our balcony in to Keara's jeep and drive around the block chillin in it. It was awesome.

And this is how we decided to move my mattress...hanging out the back of her ghetto van.

Prior to getting to our port in San Diego, my friend Natalie and Ashley drove to Zion. I LOVE National Parks and Zion is my new favorite.



We hiked around for an afternoon and slept at our friend's parents house. The next morning we left at about 6 AM and drove 7 hours to Magic Mountain. After playing around Magic Mountain for a 5 hours, we drove 3 more hours to San Diego. I think you have really found a great friend when you have spent hours together leading up to the trip cramming for finals and finishing clinicals, then spending more hours on the road and traveling in confined spaces. Natalie slept the entire time in the car since she can literally sleep for days if no one wakes her. But Ashley kept me calm, focused, and entertained the whole trip while singing at the top of our lungs to Disney, Spice Girls, Mariah Carey, and hundreds of other songs.

The good times continued on the boat despite the 3 sea days. How can you not? Mountains of food constantly, sunbathing, ping pong, dancing, karaoke, and chatting with other people on the boat was plenty. The dancing was, of course, my favorite part. I ended up teaching a lot of people HOW to dance, but I also met a lot of people on the boat who loved to dance as much as I did. I frequently found myself in a 'dance-off.' This is essentially when a bunch of people get in a circle and one person dances their best and shows off the most of what they can do and then challenges someone else in the circle to do something better. I was one of very few girls who would actually go out in the middle and dance, and I was the only one who went out by myself, so of course, I got tons of applause and cheers for doing that alone. It was awesome.

At the end of the cruise, I was so tired because they kick you off the boat by 8 AM. I decided on a whim to just drive home to Pleasanton from San Diego...an 8 hour drive. But I felt semi confident. I said goodbye to all of my friends and cried and cried when I said bye to Ashley, which didn't help my tired eyes. A couple minutes into my drive I felt like something was wrong. I pulled over to check my car out and sure enough, my front tire was close to being flat. I used my young feminine wiles to lure a group of Hispanic men over to help me put air in my tires since I had no idea how to. Six guys came over to help, and I felt like I should pay them but realized I only had a 20 dollar bill, so I just smiled and thanked them profusely and was on my way. I set out onto the road and was doing well until....

INTERSTATE 5. I hate the highway. A 2 lane straight shot up California with huge semis to pass and gusting winds knocking your tiny Honda over on the road just enough to completely freak out an anxiety-prone worrywart. I still had the rocking sensation from the boat in my head as well. I called my Mom a few times updating her, and the last one or two times I called I cried a little bit more because I felt like I just couldn't drive any longer. My eyes were unfocusing and my body wouldn't stop being tense.

In the end, I did make it. I couldn't walk a straight line the rest of the night because I felt so sick from all the different movements I had been been through. It was weird to be moving into a house I had never moved into before, but I felt so happy to be home and know that at the very least, I would be 'safe' this summer because I would be with my family.

The Bay Area isn't holding as many opportunities as I hoped it would. I have applied to a office temp agency, Costco, CityBeach, many craigslist ads, many nanny ads, and awaiting to hear about my CNA license. I have worked one day for Firestone photography and one day babysitting, so at least I'm not a complete failure. If anyone has any thoughts on employment, do share. In the meantime, I will be spending my days exercising, reading, watching TV, and doing anything else that seems interesting. That last sentence sounds like I should be the happiest person in the world just doing nothing! But then I realized, I am me. And I feel like crap if I'm not accomplishing goals and achieving SOMETHING.

The result of one unemployed morning: